Last night, I watched the Notebook for the second time, alone in my bed, clutching my one remaining teddy bear for support. I don't know if any of you have ever seen it, but despite everything (the complete cheesiness, the detachment from reality), I sobbed throughout the entire thing. Granted, I did not have high expectations for the movie when I saw it for the first time (the book is really absolute crap, especially the parts that take place in the nursing home), I am always shocked by how deeply it touched most girls. I mean, I was crying so hard last night that I literally could not breathe out of my noise, and I kept on letting out little moans of utter sorrow.
I think that the Notebook touched me, and many other girls, for two very specific reasons: 1. The main character, Noah, not only waits around for the love of his life to return, he also builds her an entire MANSION. With his bare hands. He gives her the ultimate symbol of security, a place where she can live for the rest of her life, completely sheltered and secure.
In the New York world, where 600 square foot apartments with cordoned bedrooms are signs of luxury, a mansion on a river with a wraparound porch would be a dream come true.
2. There are two omissions, in the course of the movie, that Allie and Noah constantly fight. At one point, Noah even says to Allie: "You are a pain in the ass 99% of the time. And when you're not a pain in the ass, you only take a break for 5 minutes, and then you're back to being a pain in the ass again."
I don't know about you, but if any guy ever, ever said that to me, I would start hysterically crying. Then, I would call five of my friends and get validation from them that he was being an asshole. They would tell me that I had to leave him immediately, that he was a loser, and that I deserved so much better. I would spend the day ignoring him, and later on, I would bring it up and cause a fight. I might even punch him in the arm.
But every girl has experienced this that has been in a bad relationship. That's why movies like the Notebook are so dangerous, because they perpetuate this idea that love is encapsulated in romantic moments- kisses in the rain, making love on the floor, living in a nursing home together. Yeah, the characters in the Notebook might have been happy at the end, when Allie couldn't even remember who Noah was, but it tells nothing about the daily ins and outs of a relationship. Maybe he made her cry 5 times a week, but it doesn't matter as long as he built her a house and was too much of a recluse to find anyone else in the nine years that they were apart.
My relationship with my ex-boyfriend was very similar to that- we wouldnt' see each other or talk for a while, and then when we would see each other, we would fall in love all over again. But that magic would only last for about a month, if even that, and then things would start to get bad again.
I'm not sure if I am being cynical about love, but I think that it is so dangerous to constantly be expecting your soul mate. If every girl waited around for her first love, or the first guy that she had sex with, 99.9% would end their lives completely disappointed. If I married my first love, I would have a few nice moments to hold on to, but a great number of miserable ones that I also had to live with, every day.